Elliot Zovighian Level: Platinum
Elliot Zovighian is a Certified Development Strategist, writer, speaker from Toronto, Canada. His purpose is to educate and teach people on how to focus their ...
Being in a happy relationship, means being happy yourselves. Often people seek that happiness by living vicariously through others. After time they lose themselves in the process and their partner becomes overwhelmed with the expectation of
being someone's everything. Subconsciously some people sabotage their relationships and never get to experience that special happiness two people can share.
No Separate Interests
In the beginning of a relationship, the two love birds want to do everything together in between waking up and going to sleep. Soon the routine gets tired and they find themselves in a rut. Even worse is when one of the two actually has interests while the other sits on the couch at home after work waiting for their partner to come home. Nothing kills romance more than routine. Having interests and a life of your own creates a sense of personal accomplishment, and makes you interesting to your partner. Beware of those who want you to be with them all the time.
Expectations
It doesn't take long after a couple is intimate that new boundaries and limitations are created. Whether it is monogamy or whatever, rules of engagement are quickly established. Remember, in the beginning it was their unique identity that attracted them to each other. So why try and make then into someone they're not, rather than enjoy them for who they are? Sure there are going to be things that you desire that they aren't, but there are certain characteristics that you cannot deny, and you can never change. It's not to find a perfect person without flaws, but to see their flaws perfectly.
Insecurities
Many of the issues people think are in their relationships reside in their own heads. What are they doing when we're not together? Who are they with? Why are they not home yet? Do they respect me? ?These insidious questions lead to self doubt and fear. Fear fuels anger and at times people will lash out because they feel a sense of insecurity in their union. Proper communication is required to be able to express these feelings to nip them off at the start before they manifest themselves into full blown arguments.
Don't sabotage your relationships by being selfish and close minded when regarding your partner. Allow them to be and be free and if it is meant to be they will come back to you. Don't lose sight of who you are or the things you want for yourself. If it ends tomorrow you'll be lost and un-centered. Don't place unrealistic expectations on them either. It's not what you want... it's what you both want. Don't let your jealousy and insecurities feed your mind with insidious thought. If all you look for is negatives eventually you'll find it. Look for happiness, and the world may become your oyster.
This article has been viewed 8 time(s).Article Submitted On: November 18, 2010
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