Sunday, November 28, 2010

What You Should Know About Your Ex Boyfriend's Fears - Was The Breakup Because He Was Afraid?

When your boyfriend says he needs some space, you will immediately think you have done something to upset him. You would probably be right, but you wouldn't think that it was something you intended for him to do. That is why you need to know the way men think and about your ex boyfriend's fears. You might not think of this, but was the breakup because he was afraid?

When he asked for space, you were sure it was because he wanted to get as far from you as possible, and again you would be right. But, he was not wanting to put distance between you for the reason you think. Men do not always want to get away from their girlfriends because they don't love them anymore. The reason can be just the opposite, they love you too much.

You might have thought your relationship was so solid that he would be ready to make a commitment at any time. You would be right again and that is his problem. Men do not give up their freedom easily and when he felt himself about to lose his freedom, he run for the hills. This is not uncommon when men fall deeply in love. Men are natural roamers and the thought of being trapped terrifies them.

This might be confusing to you, but it is even more confusing to your ex boyfriend. He does not want to lose you, but making a commitment is a big step. To you having him commit means that he loves you enough to want only you forever. To him it means the responsibility of a home and family. He is torn between you and the fear of responsibility.

Your ex boyfriend might have grown up seeing his father working two jobs to make ends meet. But there never seemed to be enough money and this caused his parents to argue and draw apart. He can see this happening to the two of you and that scares him. This is why he told you he needed some space. Your ex boyfriend is facing the most important decision of his life and he is not taking it lightly.

This action shows maturity in a man and instead of being upset, you should be glad to have a man who thinks before he acts. Too many times men enter into a commitment and then change their minds. This leads to broken hearts and dreams. If your ex boyfriend wants the time to think, he will not change his mind. You can almost bet that his love for you will overcome his fears and you will have the man you love for good.

If this is the man for you, don't give up. There are proven methods of male psychology to make him love you like never before.

You can learn more about pulling your ex back, using the no contact rule, making him miss you and other proven steps to get your ex boyfriend back and keep him. What you should and shouldn't do can be found at this Helpful Site

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H. L. Archer - EzineArticles Expert Author

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How To Get Your Ex Girlfriend Back - Tips and Pointers

You have found this article which means that you have broken up with your girl. It could have been your fault or it could have been her fault. Either way, the differences in opinion might have been just too much to allow the relationship to carry on.

A break up is a tough period in one's life. It is a pretty trying period as a person with whom you spent a lot of time with has suddenly left your life, leaving you with a vast emotional empty space that you have to deal with. Most people who break up however have second thoughts about breaking up. They might have done it out of anger or in the heat of the moment only to regret it later.

If you are wondering about how to get your ex girlfriend back, you are one among many thousands of men who wish that they had never broken up in the first place. Luckily, a beak up is not irreversible in many cases. In fact, some studies have shown that 90% of break ups could have been reversed quite easily.

You however need to play your cards right to figure out how to get your ex girlfriend back. What may seem as obvious steps to win her back might not really be the right ones. Most of the guys out there think that common sense approaches like apologizing or buying her flowers and gifts will be enough to win her back. Some will also think that merely asking to get back with her will be enough to get back an ex girlfriend.

The female mind however works in complex ways. A break up is a pretty traumatic event for them and their mindset will be pretty upset after one. They will be confused, angry, remorseful, edgy, relieved and panicky all at the same time. They need time to gather their emotions and settle down. If you come in during this emotionally challenging time for them and express your interest to get back with them, you can be guaranteed that it will not work. It will in fact drive them much further away from you, making things even worse than what they were just before the break up.

So, what then are the answers to how to get your ex girlfriend back? This is where you need to think about what happened. Obviously, she broke up with you because you are not the same person that you were when you first met her. Analyze what has changed about you. Also, think about what attracted her to you. Try to change yourself in such a way that you are back to your old self and are the person she was attracted to when she first met you. You will often find that such thinking will also allow you to change yourself for the better.

Once you have changed your traits, try to get back in her life in a very indirect manner. You cannot just go to her and tell her that you have changed. You have to allow her to see the change for herself without explicitly telling her. The principles of reverse psychology work in such a way that she will once again be attracted to you once she sees a change in you. Never express your intent to get back to her initially as that will only make her keep her guard up and become cautious about you again. You have to get back in her comfort zone. Once you start to get the feeling that you have accomplished this, you can then slowly express your desire to get back with her. This is how to get your ex girlfriend back.


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7 Best Ways To Get A Girlfriend Back! Here Is What You Should Know When You Can't Find a Solution

Rick Springfield's friends probably always got sick of him talking about how he wished he had Jessie's girl. They probably wanted him to move on and date somebody else but what if Rick was dating her before Jessie? For Rick and you, there are some tips you can take besides penning a song to get your girlfriend back.

Step 1:Amplify Your Positives, Shelf Your Negatives: We've all got our faults. If you are allergic or peanuts or lactose intolerant don't order Reese's and milk. You've got to do the same to win your girl back for instance she hates smoking so don't do it in front of her but she likes your poetry so write her a couple a week.

Step 2:Make Her Miss You: If you miss her, ask yourself what are the things you miss about her? Then you've got to look at yourself and step up the things you think she misses about you. Be funny, dress sharp, trim up the soul patch and she'll notice.

Step 3:Enjoy Your Life: You might get her back, you might not but don't sitting around by the rotary phone waiting for it to ring. Go out and have fun but don't overdue it. She'll be jealous if you become a social butterfly but she'll just feel sorry for you if you become a full-blown alcoholic.

Step 4:Hang With A Different Crowd: Getting a girl back involves a combination of making her jealous and envious. Hanging with a new crowd can accomplish both, as she'll be wondering just why you're hanging with them and it shows her you're adjusting to life without her just fine.

Step 5:Try New Things: She takes pride in thinking she knows everything about you and you can throw her world out of whack by getting involved in new things. She'll think to herself, "He doesn't skydive", "That mountain climbing looks fun", or "why is he joining the school play, who is he after?"

Step 6:Give Her Two Tickets: If your ex-girlfriend has a favorite band that's coming to town, become "Friendly 2-Ticket" and buy her two passes to the show. Tell her you don't want to go and she's free to take whomever she wants and if she's still interested, you can almost guarantee you'll be asked to attend before showtime.

Step 7:Ask Her To Come Back: Odds are, you've passed potential girlfriends hundreds of times in life. Just think if you've only talked to that pretty girl pumping gas or asked your waitress to go out after her shift. Stop playing the game and simply ask your ex-girlfriend to come back to you and hopefully she says "What took you so long?"

Pay Close Attention Here-

Now listen carefully! Take 2 minutes to read the next page and you'll discover a stunning trick which will have your ex begging you to take them back. There is a set of easy to follow psychological tricks which will make your ex crawl back to you within a few days guaranteed. I strongly urge you to read everything on the next page before it's too late and time runs out- Click Here

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Getting Your Ex Back - A Simple Guide To Get You Going In The Right Direction

Life is funny. We fall in love, we're having a great time...then the next thing we know, we're going through a break up. It's not pleasant, but it's a part of life. It seems that most people just roll over and try to get on with their lives. That's fine, but what if you want to know how to get your ex back? What should you do then? Great question! Here are some thoughts to help you patch things up and get back together.

Just about every relationship can be fixed, as long as you are willing to do what it takes to make it work. Right now it's broken, but it doesn't have to stay that way.

But, before you can fix anything, you need to know exactly what's broken. In other words, you need to get to the root causes of the problems you had as a couple. Take time on this step, and be as honest with yourself as you can.

How to get your ex back is more than just uncovering problems; you also need to work on solutions. Generally speaking, you will do this in two ways. If the mistakes were your fault, then you need to make changes within yourself to keep them from happening again. If the mistakes were the fault of your ex, then you need to forgive them. While you may wish you could change them, you can't. The only person you can change is you.

After you have a good idea of what went wrong, and how to fix it, then you can contact your ex. Don't argue, and don't act like you have all the answers. Instead, opt for an open dialog where you can both talk about things in an honest and respectful manner. You are now off to a good start on how to get your ex back.


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Stop Fighting, Start Talking

When a couple are stressed, niggles and irritations can devolve into full-blown arguments. Silly things, like a pair of shoes left at the bottom of the stairs can escalate into a major row. The argument is clearly not about the shoes. It is about feeling tired, taken for granted, fed up.

Learning to talk to each other as adults can help to minimise arguments and fighting and improve communications between them both. As a relationship counsellor I suggest a few thoughts to help:

- Take a break. Sometimes stopping for half an hour after work, before going home can be a useful way of drawing a line under the stresses of the working day. Maybe park the car and listen to a CD or go for a run or a swim. That way the days pressures are left where they belong, at work. And going home can become something to look forward to.

- See how you can help. Some people treat arriving home as the end of all their efforts after a busy day at work. But someone has to prepare a meal, shop, clean, do the laundry. Offering to help can significantly improve the atmosphere and can be a time to chat together about the day, life, the evening ahead.

- Being aware of the other person and their concerns demonstrates empathy and interest. Appreciating their point of view, even if you do not understand or agree with it is respectful and values the other person's opinions.

- If there is tension in the air and it is clear that a row is brewing learn to walk away and let it cool off. Call time on the situation and allow it to defuse. There is no advantage in fuelling a volatile situation. Take a break and then, when it is more settled, discuss what has prompted it to happen.

- Let things go. Not everything has to be fought over. Sometimes letting things go can be the better decision. You may win the argument but lose the relationship is something to consider when making a decision as to how to proceed next.

- Avoid accusations. Most people become defensive if accused of something. Hearing the words 'you make me feel' can make many people feel enraged or defensive. Taking responsibility for how we feel is the adult way to discuss problems and issues. Saying 'when this happens I feel' is much more responsible and can encourage the other person to want to help.

- Move on from the past. It is often tempting to quote examples to justify what has happened or why we have reacted the way we have. The problems with quoting old examples is that the other person is often tempted to counter with examples of their own and any discussion can collapse into a major dissection and justification of past perceived wrong-doings.

- Agree a plan for the future. Agree what you will do to prevent future disagreements from becoming too bad. Some people have a code word for when things start to get a little heated. When one person says the word they have to agree to a time out period, maybe two or three minutes to calm down. The word might be silly, like 'mushroom', but both people agree in advance to respect what saying it means.

- Agree to respect each others stresses and make allowances. Work, family, in-laws, friends, can all be potentially difficult topics in a relationship. Feeling obliged to do more for family or friends, feeling guilty, work pressures and insecurities can all cause difficult dilemmas in a relationship. But respecting what they mean to our partner is part of being in a relationship. Our partner needs to communicate their concerns to us and we have to listen and respect them for doing that. Working around our differences and negotiating a compromise is all part of being in a successful long-term relationship.

Susan Leigh is a Counsellor and Hypnotherapist who works with
- stressed individuals to promote confidence and self belief,
- couples in crisis to help improve communications and understanding
- with business clients to help support the health and motivation levels of individuals and teams

For more information see http://www.lifestyletherapy.net/

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Susan Leigh - EzineArticles Expert Author

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Saturday, November 27, 2010

Want to Get Your Ex Girlfriend Back? Effective Tips to Follow to Get Her Back!

If you've recently faced a tough split and want to get your ex girlfriend back, chances are you are confused and have received a lot of contradicting advice on the best way to go about it. All you want to know is what to do, but perhaps you should be paying more attention the things that you should not being doing if you truly want to get your ex girlfriend back.

Prepare yourself for the hard road ahead, but never lose faith that with patience and time, your efforts will pay off and you'll likely have your girl back in your life before you know it. Now, read on for some tip on things to avoid, so you don't ruin your chances to get your ex girlfriend back.

- Keep Control of Your Emotions

Since your girlfriend left, your emotions are running in overdrive. You are depressed, but also angry and confused. You might also have the urge to pick up the phone and give her a call - depending on your mood at the time, it could be to beg for forgiveness or to give her an earful - but you need to resist that urge at all costs.

Acting out in anger or any other intense emotion is not likely to be very helpful if you want to get your ex girlfriend back. In fact, chances are, this will only stand to drive her further away. You need to remain cool, calm, and collected during all your interactions with her, and avoid interactions until you can follow through on this advice.

- Do Not Push Her, Reconciliation Cannot Be Rushed

Once you have been able to work past your emotions and can contact your ex girlfriend without losing your grip on reality, you are one step closer on your journey to get your ex girlfriend back. But you have to be patient. If she agrees to talk to or see you, you must be prepared to be friends first and take things slow. Push her and your chances of getting her back are shot.

- Always Be a Gentleman

When you get the chance to meet with her, always be polite and act like a perfect gentleman. Do not try to rush her back into the relationship, let her come back to you in her own time. If you always act respectable and friendly, you will really increase your chance to get your ex girlfriend back.

Follow these few bits of advice, and there is a good chance your ex girlfriend won't be your ex for too long.

DO YOU WANT TO MAKE HER FALL FOR YOU ONCE AGAIN?

Yes, it's still possible. You can get her back regardless of whether she already eloped with someone else or not. Of course, you have to know how to do it effectively.

CLICK HERE if you want to discover the most effective method to get your ex girlfriend back in your life and very much in love with you again.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Ilona_Benes

Ilona Benes - EzineArticles Expert Author

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Get Help To Win Your Girlfriend Back Today

Is your heart breaking because your girlfriend just broke up with you? Fight like a man and win your girlfriend back today! Don't give her the chance to move on to the next guy. Act today if you truly love her.

When we feel sad and depressed, we tend to sit around and mope about our current situation. We may sing sad songs or write sad poems, or just do nothing. Doing nothing is not going to get her back! You may think it is impossible to get her back, but it's not. There are experts that have created effective techniques to win your girlfriend back.

Females can be very emotional, and you may not even know why your girlfriend broke up with you. You need to learn what the real problem was, and turn that problem around! She may hang up on you, and she may not reply to your texts or e-mails. Be persistent! And get some professional help.

Use your time wisely and get on the Internet to search sites that can give you much needed advice. Don't listen to your friends - they don't know exactly what your relationship was, or how to mend it. Books written by professionals understand the intricate details of a relationship, and can help you figure out yours.

Missing the one you love is one of the hardest things in the world. You may have already known that you were meant to be together, and now suddenly she has broken up with you, and you are alone. Don't take it lying down! Show her why you are the one for her. Read a book that was written specifically to help you win your girlfriend back. Hurry, before she moves on and is gone forever!


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Getting Your Ex To Come Running Back To You - 5 Steps That You Can Take To Get A Leg Up!

So, you've recently gone through a break up and now you are convinced that you need your ex to simply survive. But the truth is, you won't die if your ex is gone. Even worse, thinking such thoughts will actually make things much worse than they have to be. Your ex is gone, but as long as you're breathing, you are alive.

Sure, you may feel dead inside, but if you want to get your ex back, then you need to approach things differently, starting with your attitude. If you are lamenting your loss out of some sense of the melodramatic, then get over it. Simple. Your carrying on about how bad everything is only makes you look foolish and it will push your ex even further away.

On the other hand, if you feel like you could die now that your ex is gone, and it's because you are depressed, then you need to do something about it. Get help from your doctor, or see a counselor. You need to take care of yourself first. Besides, your ex will be more willing to take you back if they see you are doing fine without them, as opposed to needing them to cope.

The good news is that the vast majority of relationships that end in a break up can be patched back together. It will take some thought, time and effort, but it can be done by following these steps:

1. Relax. You need to be rational as you go forward, so calm down and get a grip. It will make everything to come that much easier.

2. You both need time and space to think things through. Do not go running back to your ex, begging and pleading for them to take you back. Let's face it, weakness is not an appealing character trait. You know your ex the best, so use your best judgment to gauge how much time they need.

3. Understand that the break up is the best thing right now. It may only be temporary, but it's also necessary.

4. After you have calmed down, had enough time, and gotten a fresh perspective, it's time to contact your ex. Again, remain calm. Your sole purpose here is to set up a time and place to talk about things face-to-face.

5. Have a sincere discussion and start patching things up. The key here is to be honest about the past and your potential future. Be respectful and don't argue. You are trying get your ex back, not prove that you're right.


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How To Get My Ex Girlfriend To Love Me Again And Again

That is a good question, how do you get your ex girlfriend to love you again? There is a way but you have to be sure that it is what you want. You have to be absolutely sure you want her back or what I have to say will not work for you.

For starters you have to be sincere, honest and determined to do what it takes without losing your own identity. To get your ex girlfriend to love you again you got to have a strategy. Ask yourself a few questions.

- Why did we break up?
- What did I do to cause this break up?
- Could I have prevented this break up and how?
- Would I take myself back after what happened?
- Why did she love me?
- Can I be that guy again or have I changed to much?
- How can I get my ex girlfriend to love me again?

Once you have done this and answered the questions honestly and decided it is worth to try again you have to take the next step. That is to find out how she feels about you at this moment. If there is no chance in hell that she ever wants to see or speak to you then I really feel sorry for you. But if there is the slightest possibility that she does want to speak to you or would like to see you again even as a friend than you have a fighting chance to win her over.

The best approach to start with is the casual-friend approach. This is simple to do as long as you can keep your feelings in check and under no circumstance talk about the relationship or where it went wrong. This is much easier if you take her to a place where you have to be active like bowling or shooting pool. You have to make sure the both of you are really into the activity, this will decrease any chance of talking about the relationship and increase the chance of her seeing you in a different light and maybe even remembering why she fell in love with you in the first place.


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How Can I Get My Girlfriend to Want Me Back? - 3 Questions You Need to Be Asking Yourself

If you find yourself asking the question, "how can I get my ex girlfriend to want me back?" then it is probably true that you have been thinking of this for a little while and finding that the answers are not as easy as you want them to be. It's true that relationships break up all of the time, and it's equally true that people do get back together, sometimes even against the odds. Fact is, you can end up being one of those people, as long as you really get to the heart of what the issue is and find a proven solution.

Here are 3 questions that you need to ask yourself if you really want to get her to want you back:

1. Are you ready to make whatever changes are necessary to prove to her that things really will be different?

One of the biggest cliche pleas that a guy will give his ex girlfriend is that he is going to change and that things will be different the next time around. Well, women are pretty aware of the fact that this is just one of those things that guys will say, so it's only logical that she will end up doubting whether or not you really mean it. You have to actually make changes to your life if you are going to show her that things really will be different and that means you have to be ready to shake up your life a bit.

2. Did your ex girlfriend tell you that she never wants to be with you again?

If she did not say something to this effect, then you probably do still have an open door with her. Of course, even if she did say that she did not want to be with you again, ever, you can still change her mind and the way that she feels. It's just going to be a little trickier than if she never made a statement like that.

3. Are you able to follow a proven system without letting your emotions get in the way?

Some guys will get the answers that they have been seeking and then, they think that it cannot be right. They will allow their emotions to take over and make the decisions for them. If you go that route, don't expect to get her back anytime soon. You can do yourself a lot of good if you are open to using a proven system to get your girlfriend back and not allow your emotions to get in the way.


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