Sunday, November 21, 2010

Don't Love Her Anymore - How Not To Break Up With Your Girlfriend

There comes an unfortunate time in some relationships where there just seems to be no future in it. Maybe you just don't find your girlfriend physically attractive anymore. She may have cheated on you or given you some other major reason to feel unappreciated or neglected. Perhaps, you just don't love her the same way that you did earlier in the relationship anymore.

How do you go about telling her that the relationship is over, that you are moving on? Here are 3 "methods" that you should avoid when breaking up with your girlfriend:

1 - Tell Her "It's Not You, It's Me"

I bet many a woman has been told this lame excuse before. Many guys fall back on this one as a "soft" way of breaking up with their girlfriends. The general thinking behind it is to let her down easy with as little hurt as possible. Or is it? I'm sure some guys even use it to reduce the amount of drama associated with the break up simply for their own benefit, which is even more sad.

Does it even work? Oh sure, it works in the simplest respect that it eventually accomplishes what you intend to do, that is, break up with her. However, it fails miserably at letting her down easy. In fact, it leads to more pain, and the response you can expect to get from your soon-to-be ex girlfriend is one of utter confusion with a little begging and pleading to throw in the mix. Not quite the drama-free break up that you had in mind? Probably not. That is, of course, unless she really could care less that you are dumping her in the first place.

2 - Just Disappear Without A Trace

This one seems to be, without a doubt, the way to go if you want a drama-free, clean break up with your girlfriend, right? Well, not exactly. To put it lightly, it is the most cowardly and selfish way in which you can go about it, plain and simple. And, this includes any of it's close relatives such as leaving your girlfriend a note, sending an e-mail, or an impersonal text message. It's just cold, so don't do it.

Even if your respect for your girlfriend is only a fraction of what it was when the two of you first got together, she deserves the truth from you in person. So, even though it may seem like the easy way out (for you), man up and be honest with her face-to-face.

3 - Be A Drama Queen About it

Maybe your girlfriend has done something (or even a lot of things) that has finally set you off. You've decided that it's the last straw. You want nothing more to do with her. Well, hey, that's absolutely within your rights, I assure you. However, there's no need to create a lot of drama during the break up process by laying a bunch of blame just before you head out of the door.

I realize that you may have a great deal of frustration and resentment on your mind that you just need to let out, but do yourself (and her) a favor, and save it for a trusted buddy or family member of yours that is willing to listen as you vent. If you've decided that the relationship is over, then what's the point of trying to argue your points and opinions with your girlfriend now? You made your decision already, so just be honest with her,? and tell her that it's over. Keep it short and to the point, and move on.

When you decide that you no longer love her and that it's time to break up with your girlfriend, then be a mature adult about it. You are well within your rights to choose to do what's best for yourself. By that, I mean if you feel that it's time to move on, then you know your own needs better than anyone else, so maybe it is truly for the best. However, doing what's best for you doesn't mean that you should completely ignore the feelings of your girlfriend. Remember, this woman once meant a lot to you, and maybe she still does. Treat her with the respect that she deserves even at the end of the relationship.


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